Every Spring semester, following a rigorous but memorable audition process, Denison’s premier improv troupe, The Burpees Seedy Theatrical Company, inducts a class of First Year Burpees, or FreshBurps, who spend the rest of the semester being subjected to all manner of horrific and humorous deaths. I interviewed the four FreshBurps and polled them about their favorite Burpee deaths they’ve experienced thus far. These were their responses.
Major: Undecided, but maybe Theatre/ Psychology
Hometown: Near Baltimore, MD
Favorite Burpee Death: “I think the most interesting death would be death by mutual canni- balism, where I had to eat another FreshBurp in the dining hall. But a close second would be a reflected bullet that hit two of us at the same time or being trapped in a gas chamber (elevator).
FreshBurp Name: Matt Harmon
Major: Political Science and Theater
Hometown: Elkins, West Virginia
“I really enjoyed imploding, that was really fun. Getting burned with gasoline was also enjoyable.”
FreshBurp Name: Nia D’Emilio
Hometown: Pittsburgh, PA
Favorite Burpee Death: “After carefully reviewing my log of Burpee deaths, I’ve decided that my favorite Burpee death has been when Zach [Matek] yelled “Jesus style!” nailed me to a cross, and crucified me. Runner up: When Matt [DeMotts] killed me by throwing a boomerang in my face and cracking my skull.”
FreshBurp Name: Phoebe Thatcher
Hometown: Chicago, IL
Favorite Burpee Death: “My favourite Burpee death was when I opened Pandora’s box in the middle of Huffman.”
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